Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Wednesday Weigh-in - Postponed

Somehow this week got away from me. I am not sure why. It's been a bit of a wonky week. Mom and Dad had to go out of town for my great-aunt's memorial service. I only worked half a day on Monday and then worked a couple hours at home. Everything has just been off schedule. Anyway, I forgot to weigh in this morning and then forgot to weigh in right after work and then we went to the fair. I was NOT weighing in AFTER the fair (be honest would YOU???)

Anyway, I do think it's okay to take off a week here and there and have considered doing bi-weekly weigh-in's. I may have mentioned this before, but I am a VERY sensitive to feedback (good AND bad). This is why I CANNOT do daily weigh-ins. If I have a good weigh in I stay very motivated and am happy. If I have 1 bad one I decide to just give up. Not good. I will take a look tonight, but may not count it as official. That's the other thing. It's better if it's "Not official" ...and yes I know only I can decide that it's official or not. Ugh! I feel like I am always pulling tricks on my brain. Whatever works I guess.

We did walk out to the fair tonight which was a positive - especially since I did not get my workout in. Now I have to do Thursday - Sunday, but I think I can handle that. I post Thursday thoughts Thursday evening and give a quick "Unofficial" weight report ;-)

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Tuesday Accountability.

Well, this post is a little different since I am missing last Tuesday and my goals are missing from last week. I am just going to give some general statements on my accountability and then make some new goals.

I haven't really gotten into doing a daily t0-do list. I need to decide to just do it and not wait until I have things to do. There is always something to do. Even if it's the same list everyday, go to work, workout, straighten up etc. I am going to make this a goal again. In general things are going well, but I start to fall into a comfortable zone and then sometimes find things starting to slip BACK in. I need to watch that.

So my goals for this week:
1. Give the To-DO list a serious shot. Make one daily.
2. Workouts - get them all in.
3. NO SODA- you really would be amazed how quickly this creeps back in. Darn soda.
4. One morning walk. Just one - try it - maybe you'll liiiiiiike it.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Monday - This Blog has a case of the Mondays

Ugh! So, I lost a Monday - Thursday last week. Something weird was going on with Blogger. I contacted them. They were going to recover Friday's post and get today's up eventually. I think it should all be fixed. What a pain. Oh well, I know I don't have THAT many readers anyway, this is all really for my own healing.

Anyway, the weekend was great. We had a wonderful time with friends and I really did not overdue it on the junk food this week. In fact we took a long walk around the campus and then on Sunday morning I got up and worked out BEFORE we went out for lunch. I find the more I can do to just get me in a health mindset from the very beginning of the day the better the whole day goes. I think I could benefit greatly from getting up early to exercise, but I am SO not a morning person. I am debating even just trying for a 20-30 minute walk 2-3 times a week in the morning. Something I need to think about a little longer.

Well, here's to a good week!

ETA: I did not feel great today. I had something weird going on with my eye and was very light sensitive. I came home from work a little early. It took me until 8:30 to decide to go do my workout, but I did and that was a huge accomplishment for me. Yay!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Photo Friday - Celebrations

Lots to celebrate this weekend. Our 6th wedding anniversary and a reunion with some college friends. I have a plan in place. Saturday lots of fruit and veggies at the reunion and Seafood for our Anniversary and perhaps share a dessert with my honey. CHEERS!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Photo Friday - Just say NO!

After my post yesterday I was looking at my journal and realized one bad choice that ALWAYS seems to lead to another is SODA. So, I am really putting all my effort into JUST SAYING NO. The bad thing is I really do just love it sometimes. Maybe sparkling water will satisfy that craving?

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Thursday Thoughts - One good choice leads to another - and vice versa

There is a commercial on television right now where they talk about how "one good choice leads to another." I am not sure who it is for, but I know they show a woman eating a healthy breakfast vs. grabbing a doughnut and then the choices the rest of the day. The healthy breakfast leads to a salad for lunch, a run after work and a good sensible dinner. The doughnut leads to pizza at lunch, drinks after work and chips on the couch while watch tv...or something like that. You get the picture, right?

That commercial really struck a cord with me and since I am journaling my food, I am going to really pay attention to choices that lead to better/worse choices. I think it could be interesting.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Wednesday Weigh In - Baby Steps.

Well, today was my weekly weigh in. Officially I am down 4 lbs. I was thinking to myself after weighing-in. Four down - TOO more to go. Then I was sad that was my first thought. 4 lbs. is something to be proud of. I know others on the weight loss journey that would be thrilled to have a 4 pound weight loss. So, I had an idea that I got from my friend. Don't worry about the BIG picture. Just focus on losing 10 pounds. Then I can loose 10 lbs as many times as I need or want to. Once I do it once, I'll just start over. It seems much less daunting.

It's kind of crazy to me how much is involved in losing weight. It's part will power, part math (calories in vs. calories out), a lot psychological, part physical. It really takes a lot of time a commitment.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Accountability Tuesday - Making a list and checking it twice

Please note: yes, 3 postings came up today. Friday, Monday and Today. I was posting them incorrectly. It's all fixed now.

So below is my list from last week - notes on how I did are in red.

1. Keep a food journal - every day. I can't expect to succeed if I don't know exactly what I am eating. Not great. I made good choices and measured portions, but didn't write it all down. Journaled 2 days. Needs Improvement.

2. Think long and hard before I eat anything that is not on my plan and make it a conscience decision - not a random choice. Make the appropriate adjustments. On a scale of 1 to 10 I give myself a 7 on this. I am definitely becoming more conscious. I would have previously given myself a 5 or below depending on the week, so I count this a success.

3. Make a plan for camping this weekend. The food issue is SOMEWHAT out of my hands - but I can control portions and take some fruit etc. with me to make sure I stay on track as best I can - offset any fall backs with a walk or a swim. My plan was to take produce and I did. I also got in some swimming and a couple walks. I think I did pretty well. S'mores are still evil. I would give myself 7/10 on this as well. Next time will be better.

4. Get it all of my workouts and complete week one of Turbo Jam I give myself a gold star in this. Got it all done. Woo hoo.

So for this week. Here are my goals.

1. Journal every day. Food journal and my other normal journal. This is very VERY important to this process. This will be a perma-goal.

2. Get all my workouts in. Complete week 2 of turbo jam and do at least one bonus workout on the weekend. Get up early and walk at least 2 mornings during the week.

3. Make a daily to-do list. I have heard this can be a very motivation tool. I would like to give in a try.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Manic Monday - Weekends...always a challenge

Why do weekends always have to be such a challenge. I will fully acknowledge that they are great fun and what I look forward to all week, but man, they just get me so out of sync. I think summer weekends are even worse. We just seem to do so much more over the summer. Vacations, camping etc. Everyone thinks summer is this wonderful time to loose weight but, I do not think that is the case. In fact I know I read an article about how it is decidedly NOT the case. Summertime means vacations, ice cream, camping, picnics, parties, cold beer etc.

I guess when it comes right down to it, it's just hard work in general. No time of year is any easier than another. It's just a mind set. I need to just make my mind up and follow Nike's advice - Just DO it! That's what I'm going to do this week - Just do it. If I'm really good it will just catapult me right through the weekend.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Photo Friday - A camping we will go

So we're getting ready to go camping. Maybe if I look at this picture enough I can convince myself that one of these babies is enough. I need a healthy alternative to s'mores :-)

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Thursday Thoughts - It's funny how these things happen

A slight deviation from weight loss per say, but I think this may be a "Jillian Michael's moment for know when you realize what' s been bothering you for so long, you didn't even know what it was.

So, about 2 weeks ago I was having what I will call a "Strong Moment" and I pulled out Aaron's scrapbook with the intention of finishing it. I have been about 8 pages from finishing for about a year and a half. I was having a hard time finishing. How do you scrapbook a death? A life cut short. But I got it out and worked on it. Then VBS week came and I was busy. So last night, after my appointment with my therapist I decided to finish it. It had already been an emotional couple of days for me so I figured I might as well just go for it. August 4th was Aaron's original due date and while I don't think about that date too much, it sometimes creeps up on me.

So, last night I finished....and I cried. I now have this beautiful think that I made that tells the story of his life - and his death - the WHOLE story. I didn't take to time to look through it from cover to cover yet (it was late and I wanted to wait until today to do that), but I know what I put in it. As I said to Josh, it made me realize something. Everything that happened, to me and to him happened the only way it could happen. I did ALL I could do for him, while I was pregnant and afterwards. The doctors did all they could do for him (and for me). The nurses did all they could do. Our friends and family sent us SO much love and support. Everyone gave all they could give. There truly was nothing I could have done. All the guilt, the what ifs....I realized it doesn't matter...never really did I guess (but I think I needed to go through all of that). It is what it is and some really wonderful things have come from that.

Feeling for the first time in over 4 years that I can let go of some of the guilt and start to treasure all the memories that I do have and will continue to have in the future (as we continue to do things to honor his memory). He is not physically with us any more, but nobody can ever take away what I do have. I think there is still a bit of a process, but as I wrote in my journal last night...maybe, just maybe I can start to truly like myself again.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Weekly Weigh-In - the scale - weight loss tool or pure evil?

So, since I am just getting into this tonight when I get home I will be doing my first weigh-in. I know kind of where I was a week or so ago, but tonight's number will be my baseline going forward. I am also going to take some basic measurements tonight. Sometimes, when the scale just isn't moving those measurements can be a good motivational tool. Those I probably need to take every month....not weekly so much.

So, I go back and forth between hating to weigh in and weighing ever single day. Seems to me a happy medium must be struck. So I will just do it more and NO LESS! See when I start working out I seem to think that the weight will just fall right off of me like melting doesn't seem to work that way though in my experience. When I do weigh in daily there are days that appear to be GREAT and days that one glass of water sends me skyrocketing up a couple pounds. The "false" gains and losses can be maddening. A week seems like a good timeline to at least get the ups and downs and use what you find as a tool. You may occasionally get a bad weigh-in. That is what I need to learn to work past. One bad weigh-in does NOT constitute failure.

So, tonight. Me vs. the scale. Maybe this time he and I can be friends...or at least like each other enough to smile and nod when passing each other in the hallway (aka: Bathroom).

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Accountability Tuesday - Do or do not - there is no try.

Well since I just fessed up about what my plan is I don't have much to report this week as far as accountability. I started Turbo Jam last night and will be going home to do night two tonight. One thing I noticed that I do a lot of is saying, "I'm planning on _______". I was thinking about that and I've decided in order for me to be successful I need to QUIT planning and start doing. So for the next week I am not going to "Plan" to do anything. In the words of Yoda, "Do or do not, there is no try". He was a smart little green guy.

So, this week I will complete the following goals:
1. Keep a food journal - every day. I can't expect to succeed if I don't know exactly what I am eating.
2. Think long and hard before I eat anything that is not on my plan and make it a conscience decision - not a random choice. Make the appropriate adjustments.
3. Make a plan for camping this weekend. The food issue is SOMEWHAT out of my hands - but I can control portions and take some fruit etc. with me to make sure I stay on track as best I can - offset any fall backs with a walk or a swim.
4. Get it all of my workouts and complete week one of Turbo Jam.

Now, if only I can convince my stomach that it just had lunch and doesn't need anything else to eat. Ugh! I hate days where I feel like that. I need to stick it out until it's afternoon snack time! (And maybe have that a little early!)

Monday, August 2, 2010

I'm baaaaaaack...

Well, I have been inspired by a friend of mine that is blogging about her weight journey. Those that know me, should know that I am a huge advocate or journaling. It heals the soul I think and keeps you motivated and focused. I do journal nearly daily, but don't want to fixate in there about my weight loss struggles (more than I already do). So, I was going to start over with a new blog and remembered this one. I like it and like the title of I thought I'd just resurrect this one. It helps me to have a topic to write on and I like the way I had this one formatted. Therefore, I will do that. I know I don't have many "readers" and I am okay with that. I may at some point go more "public" with it, but for now I just people I know and trust to read this.

For my reference here are my daily topics...

Manic Monday - recap of the weekend. Get focused
Accountability Tuesday - the good the bad and the ugly. Time to fess up.
Weekly Weigh-in Wednesday - You may not see the numbers, but I'll give the ups or downs or talk
Thursday Thoughts - Random thoughts or a weight loss/exercise topic I feel like expounding on.
Photo Friday - Sum up the week with a photo.
Weekend Warrior - If I am feeling extra motivated or have any other thoughts.

Anyway, so here I am. I'm back. Currently I am doing a nutrition plan developed by my nutritionist. As far as fitness, I started today Turbo Jam (a program I had from year's ago). I want to do P90X which I have and have started, but it is proving to be a HUGE challenge and I enjoy the cardio stuff much more. I am using 1 month of Turbo Jam in preparation for P90X and want to start P90X after Labor Day and finish by mid-December. That will be my Christmas gift to me. Meeting my goals.