Monday, June 29, 2009

Manic Monday - Bachelors and brews

Again, quick plan on Monday's is to do a weekend recap and get my focus set for the week.

So, this weekend I got to participate in a time honored tradition of a bachelor party (no -ette, this was a party for my best male friend and we wanted me to come along). I had been looking forward to this as the group of guys we were going with included my hubby, the bachelors brother and several college friends. There were 7 of us all of whom I have known for better than 10 years. All week I was so focused on eating everything correctly and working out hard because any "cheating" that I was going to do was going to be done with beer on Saturday night.

It was a good weekend. Other than the night of drinking I did fine. Luckily for me, Sunday I was tired, but otherwise feeling up to snuff (ie: no hangover). I can't say as much for the rest of the group. Even before hitting the bars we had a good dinner and I got a nice fresh vegetarian entree....once again figuring all calories spent would be best spent on beer.

Life lesson #??? and note to can enjoy these fun little life events (parties, weddings, etc.) and live like a normal person. As long as you make it an isolated incident and get back on track again. Make a plan and stick to it.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Photo Friday

So, in keeping with my new theme days I am going to post photos on Fridays that sum up my week in just a few words.

This week I was very proud of myself and I feel empowered and thus I give you...

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Thursday Thoughts

In an effort to try to post more, (because: a). It keeps be motivated and b). I am a scrapbooker and like to remember things. Since I would probably not ever do a diet scrapbook, this will be my way of remembering this journey), I am trying to post more than just one time a week. Sometimes I have things to say and other times there is just not a lot going on. So Thursday is going to be my day for just random observations - notes to self if you will. Maybe I can come up with other clever things to do other days of the week. We'll see. Anyway, without any further Thursday thoughts:

1. I am wearing a t-shirt today (yes I can wear t-shirts to work, i normally don't, but there are 2 of us here today and no clients coming in). It is a size lower that what I normally wear. It is tighter than what I normally wear (not too tight though) and I actually am comfortable and I like the way it looks on me. Note to self: Buy clothes that fit tighter - it allows me and others to see my progress better than hiding in my clothes :-)

2. I think I am actually losing some belly (which is why #1 might be occurring as well). That is a very hard thing to judge. I need to take another progress picture soon. When I loose 5 more lbs I will do just that (in my tighter fitting clothing)

3. I feel really good right now. Motivated again and out of the May fog that seems to be an annual occurrence. Eating all my meals and snacks and doing so properly. I like this feeling. It is a feeling of being in control of me. Even today after only getting maybe 3.5 hours of sleep I feel good and I am still going to the gym.

4. Being in control of me and what food enters me translates into being control of other things in my life - also a contributing factor to number 3.

I think that's all my thoughts...for this week at least. Can't give 'em all away at one time!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Weekly Weigh-In

Last night was my appointment. After making some changes this past week in some of what I ate and the way in which I was working out I was please. Down 2 pounds. Better...much better. Heck at this point I will take any loss I can get. I am really REALLY sick of bouncing around and going back and forth. Some more changes this week. Apparently I need to keep my body guessing. This week I am doing a "Heavy Week" as my trainer called it. I am going to add weight to everything and see how well I can do. I predict muscle soreness.

I found a good article on WebMD about moving through a weight loss plateau.
Not that I have a lot a readers, but this blog is really more for me and if anyone finds this stuff interesting so be it :-)

The good news is (now bare with me this is going to sound weird), I am starting to feel hungry more often again. That normally means my metabolism is starting to hum along again, so yay for that. Hopefully it continues to show.

Onward and downward! (Weight Watchers is at least good for their cheesy sayings) :-)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

What have you done today?

This season of Biggest Loser is the first season I have watched from start to finish and I LOVED it! I will watch this show from now on for as long as it airs. I wish I would have watched the previous seasons. This morning the theme song popped into my head. I am terrible with remembering words and I was thinking it was "What have you done today to make me feel proud?" I wanted to look up the words to the song and it turns out I was wrong. The chorus is :
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

I think it is funny that I mistook the "you" for "Me" and it makes a huge difference. Also, it is so indicative of probably my major flaw. I think I may have mentioned this before, but I am a pleaser...I never want anyone upset with me, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, I want to do what I think other people want me to do, I don't let others know when I am upset (an issue after you've been through a life altering loss) and I don't like to say "no" to people (don't worry I can "Just Say No" to life harming things...but anything else probably not. *my mom will agree with all of the above - I think she recognizes this more than anybody* This mindset makes me worry, loose sleep and has most definitely lead to weight gain for me. After Aaron's death the one thing I did get a lot better at was saying no. I just learned I couldn't do as much as I used to and I think I still do better with that. I pick and choose the things I really want to do and was thinking that fixed the issue, but the whole need to please thing is still there.

Okay, so tangent over and back to my point about the song. I thought the words were "What have you done today, to make me feel proud" when in fact they are "What have you done today, to make YOU feel proud". As I said before it's a big difference. This whole weight loss thing need to be on MY terms, to make MYSELF feel proud. I don't have to do this to make other people proud. More importantly, I can tell people what I can and can't eat and not just eat whatever they set in front of me. I can make the decisions of what I put in my mouth. I'm not going to rock any boats by refusing to eat something or bringing my own food somewhere. I don't have to go out to restaurants with people...maybe invite them over for a game night instead. I may have said all this before, but I feel like I need to keep reminding myself.

Oddly enough a one word misunderstanding may have just given me a major break through. From now on I am going to do something everyday that makes ME feel proud!

My proud moment from yesterday: I ran on the treadmill (alternating walking and running) and then hit the elliptical can got 35 min. of cardio in. Even if I got home a little later than normal, Josh was fine waiting for me for dinner and did not mind a bit!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Getting my mojo back.

So, it's been a lot longer than I have intended between posts. What can I say, it was May. I was in a funk dealing with all the emotions that go along with the late April through early June. I find myself wondering how many years this is going to happen. I guess the answer would be indefinitely. Will it get better? I am sure it will get easier, but it will probably always be there. Starting last week I felt like I was getting glimpses of my "normal" self *insert joke about how NOT normal I am here* After a good night of sleep on Saturday I was feeling like myself again. Josh even noticed right away. It's odd...just as fast as the fog comes over me it can be gone.

I kept the eating and exercise up pretty well throughout the month *dare I say I am developing good habits?*. Of course throw a bout of shingles and a vacation into the mix and it's a recipe for disaster. Luckily, I was only a couple pounds up and it is coming off again *hopefully as I type this*. I've been bouncing back and forth, BUT now I have my mojo back and I am ready to rock this thing. According to my trainer last night this funk may have been well timed. He said after so many weeks going at it hard you body will just need a break and I have had some time off (when I had shingles then followed by 1 week of vacation). Both times I got back into it as soon as possible. Regardless, I am BACK baby!