What have you done today?

This season of Biggest Loser is the first season I have watched from start to finish and I LOVED it! I will watch this show from now on for as long as it airs. I wish I would have watched the previous seasons. This morning the theme song popped into my head. I am terrible with remembering words and I was thinking it was "What have you done today to make me feel proud?" I wanted to look up the words to the song and it turns out I was wrong. The chorus is :

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

I think it is funny that I mistook the "you" for "Me" and it makes a huge difference. Also, it is so indicative of probably my major flaw. I think I may have mentioned this before, but I am a pleaser...I never want anyone upset with me, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, I want to do what I think other people want me to do, I don't let others know when I am upset (an issue after you've been through a life altering loss) and I don't like to say "no" to people (don't worry I can "Just Say No" to life harming things...but anything else probably not. *my mom will agree with all of the above - I think she recognizes this more than anybody* This mindset makes me worry, loose sleep and has most definitely lead to weight gain for me. After Aaron's death the one thing I did get a lot better at was saying no. I just learned I couldn't do as much as I used to and I think I still do better with that. I pick and choose the things I really want to do and was thinking that fixed the issue, but the whole need to please thing is still there.

Okay, so tangent over and back to my point about the song. I thought the words were "What have you done today, to make me feel proud" when in fact they are "What have you done today, to make YOU feel proud". As I said before it's a big difference. This whole weight loss thing need to be on MY terms, to make MYSELF feel proud. I don't have to do this to make other people proud. More importantly, I can tell people what I can and can't eat and not just eat whatever they set in front of me. I can make the decisions of what I put in my mouth. I'm not going to rock any boats by refusing to eat something or bringing my own food somewhere. I don't have to go out to restaurants with people...maybe invite them over for a game night instead. I may have said all this before, but I feel like I need to keep reminding myself.

Oddly enough a one word misunderstanding may have just given me a major break through. From now on I am going to do something everyday that makes ME feel proud!

My proud moment from yesterday: I ran on the treadmill (alternating walking and running) and then hit the elliptical can got 35 min. of cardio in. Even if I got home a little later than normal, Josh was fine waiting for me for dinner and did not mind a bit!